Why disrespecting your BOSS might just push your career one up

Who’d ever think that a little disrespect might just be the key to improve your career? Believe me..I didn’t.

Of course I’m not picturing scenes in my head where you stomp into your bosses office; raging and throwing a tantrum about how you feel not appreciated enough and how – while you are already talking – you’d like a raise. This might just end your career in a blink.

No, we are talking about these gazillion situations we’ve all been in where we’ve been trying to speak to our boss over lunch, have a small-talk conversation about the weekend or simply just lead through our newly created PowerPoint. And then the thing happens, that always happens upon talking to our boss: We stammer, we fiddle with our pen and to make things worse, the words that come out of our mouth just..don’t make much sense in our head anymore. It all sounds so uncool.

Alarm bells ring. What the… !???

This, of course,  makes us feel like an incompetent fool every time we stand next to our oh so composed smart-looking boss. It’s almost like their aura wiped ours in pieces. Dang.

Now disrespecting our boss shall help here?

Though this is the thing: when we are out and about meeting our girlfriends or hanging out with the family…we are a hoot. We are in fact, hilarious and never shy a saucy comment! Nobody of these people would ever consider us “not confident”. You’d probably laugh them in the face.

But why can’t we just be so damn cool when this boss of ours comes walking up to us? Why is it that we suddenly feel so small next to them?

It’s because we let them.

What we put on a pedestal will be towering above us. That should not come as a surprise to us. It’s not because they are naturally that size – it’s because WE put them up there, continuously decorating them with flowers (symbolically speaking here).

It is because we have created this HUGE image of them inside our heads that kills our confidence. We paint them in the brightest colors..smart as fuck and so so important.   Everything our boss does or says to us is immediately being overanalyzed for hours because…well, duh, it’s our boss. Our mind tells us: “Wow. She/He is important…and I am not. We are not playing in the same league here after all. I better leave a good impression!”

And thus, the pressure we manage to make ourselves is ON: every time we encounter them we think things like how we MUST sound smart in order to impress, how we must finish this project real good, how we must come across as funny and cool with an interesting lifestyle. Everything else would be…unmentionable.  Our mind tells us this unconsciously over and over and over again.

But Bullshit, I say. In the end of the day – no matter what facet they keep up at work in front of us – behind the scene it’s all the same. Our boss is also just a person who comes home hungry, in urgent need of a pedicure and has shitty hair days from time to time. Our boss, too,  is just a person who loves to order things they don’t really need via AMAZON and our boss is someone who,too, gets annoyed when they leave their phone in the car.  They are just human beings with dreams and failures and experiences they treasure and some, they wish had never occurred. Behind all that facet at work, they are just like you and me.

And I am challenging you to care less. To start trying to really give a fuck inside your mind whenever they walk up to you because …this whole “WHOA it’s my boss” – thing, it’s just killing your vibe. And why should we do that to ourselves – taking the spotlight and putting it on our boss on purpose…instead of putting it on ourselves? Why in the world should we do that when it is us who want to succeed here? WE are wonderful. WE are radiant. And yes, WE are damn smart! End of story.

So no matter whether your boss is the nicest person on earth or a son of a gun – please just stop putting them on a pedestal and hands off of swinging that spotlight on everybody but yourself. Really. Shine in your brightest truest colors and give yourself the opportunity to rise above. You don’t depend on anyones approval to climb up that career ladder  – you just need to be yourself and care less.



Millisecond judgement

You know what they say – the moment you walk into the room of an interviewer, your opposite has unconciously already made a decision upon seeing you.

Three…two…one…BOOM.  Congratulations, you have now officially been judged.

He/She might think: “Damn, I like your style. I like your look. I like your confident smile. I like your firm handshake. Wow. And..what a positive smile! This is gonna be good!” Aaand you are already boxed in the LIKE drawer. Within – three –  seconds. I swear.

For the rest of the conversation, it’ll be a breeze from here on – your opposite is unconciously now only focussing on the positive; down-sizing the eventual negative things they might notice about you.

Or he/she might think the complete opposite… which also occurs within three seconds.  “What the heck is THAT (meaning you). Oh my god, this is going to be a b-o-r-i-n-g conversation, I knew it! She doesn’t even lock eyes with me!?” From here on, only the negative will be noticed.

Have you tried to watch yourself the first moment you enter a room meeting a new client, an interviewer or a person to network with? The interesting thing I have experienced is…the more I used to focus on coming across as RIGHT the more nervous and fake I became. My smile was unreal, my whole gesture way more forced than usual. My hands nervously massaging my fingers. During the entire conversation I tried to be able to read ANY detail from that person’s face whether they approved of me. Or not.

The funny thing is though, once you walk into the room, the opposite person has not only unconciously made a first decision whether THEY like you or not…you have made a decision about them as well. BOOM.

Realizing that is a big game changer.

Once you do, you start walking in, not focussing on yourself that much anymore but you rather do it with an -“Now let’s SEE what this person is like and got to offer!” – attitude.  And then we are talking! The game is on and you are  the leading lady.

Conclusion: It’s not about “My gawd, they are analysing me.” This little dance is about – I – AM – WATCHING -YOU. Keep talking.

Boom Bitches




What are you doing to minimize self doubt upon meeting an interview partner for the first time? What was your best/worst moment!? Please do share with us.